the insane who cant live without sweets

remembering the old times

2010-12-30T01:29:00.004+08:00

Dammit! im so in love~ =D

while i was "busy" searching for my stress remedy I found an old song that I really like and the only reason why when I was young I was easily falling in love with random foreign artist (which is actually up to now) there where this one particular dude that I can call as a heart drop~ the first time I saw his music video was when I was at the age of 6-7. I was so much into his voice rather than his looks at that time although he was really cute. The dude name is Gil Ofarim and he was famous for his romantic sweet song called "if only you knew" which he duet together with the muffet. seriously for a kid having such awesome voice like that can make my heart melt madly now~

this is him during the 90's era. he was a totally pretty boy. I swear I really love his eyes. its really pretty~
Now that he has grown up. his like a guy that is to die for with his short hair and rocker husky voice seriously can faint~~..<3

plans for the future.

2010-11-23T17:53:00.002+08:00

Feel so happy that I am in my holiday now, regardless its only for a week before my internship start next week on the 29th. Well we as in me and teddy manage to get hired as interns at a graphic company in Ampang. All thanks to teddy because she was the one found the place in Google. The company that we gonna " work" for the place is quite relaxing. during the interviewed last week we find the place as our dream working place where working hours is only 9am -6pm and the best part when the boss told us, if she have errands to run or she have to go back early we are allowed to go back too( excited to know that) anyway let just see how crazy our 2 months for intern going to end up.

As for the future concern we all now in a separate path where everyone is doing their intern program except for me and teddy and the next time we all going to meet is for our last diploma semester. Somehow I feel sad because, seriously I just feel that just yesterday I've join the Taylor's family and now it almost come to an end. Once Degree start we all be totally separated. Darul's is planing to continue his study in the UK's, Liyana and Rifan is going to Aussie as for the others some of them plan to continue to degree and some of them feel that they are not ready. As for me, Mom called me to just continue until I get my degree and she said its better to just finish it straight rather than to wait for few years as what I've planned. Guess I be joining the first degree program by them then next year. To think about it again, I did promise mom that I want too continue my studies and although I'm gonna end up as a guinea pig again I can survived. All my life I've been the guinea pig ever since secondary year and I survive. I just have to have that same believe that mom have.

mocking is not a motivation!

2010-10-11T16:09:00.002+08:00

HEY! YOUR FAT! HEY! YOU'RE UGLY! HEY YOU'RE SUCH A FAT-ASS..

words of so call motivation which make some people feel depress and one day lead to something tragic. Its really sad to know that some people think they are too perfect on this earth and because of that they think they have the green light to mock someone. No one is that perfect no matter how pretty or good looking you are flaws is always there to hunt you down. I disagree towards some people how they take mocking is a part of self motivation, believe me its just sting to know. If life was all bout listening to what people have to said about me it be rather stressful and somehow can lead me to something that i wish not to say. I once been call as fat and I couldn't accept and end up dieting at the age of 5 years old. true when people said that kids they don't know anything, but I do. I know what do they actually mean at that time just by looking at the difference between my body and theirs. being mock at the age of 5 which is considered as the most mean thing a kid should felt. because of that I end up torturing myself from consuming any food for about a month and yeah i lost weight, but its not healthy for a 5 years old to feel that.

the term "ugly" harsh, but people take it as a joke. God create us all in a very unique way. No one is that perfectly beautiful and no one in this earth is made purposely ugly, but the way some people put it is just so mean and disturbing towards some extend. when we our self feel that we are ugly then the whole world shut on us. I was never once declare that i was even beautiful or even cute towards some extend. I always feel that everyone hate me and judging me and the feeling is up until. Im a 20 year old girl who soon to reach my womanhood soon enough and if I still take what people said it can somehow bring me down really really badly. I never once feel appreciated of myself and anything i do deserve a self torture by myself. school life was suck because i was facing drastically hormone changes and acne was my biggest enemy at that time and the worst part ever is when my hand is to itchy to leave my face alone. it was my bad on that one and i guess i deserve that, but because of all that I somehow feel that people cant accept me up until I enter my college life and everything was different there. People friend with me base on who i am not how i look and that somehow made me happy when i first enter college which is last 2 years during foundation year. Im not a very people person, but i tried my best to be one. growing up now is less painful compare to the school life. now i can actually talk to people and they take me as who i am not as how i look and im glad on that.

the moral is, no matter how ugly or fat we maybe, regardless anything we are beautiful to our self and I realise that when people try to accept me as who i am. no one can love you if you dont love yourself and i believe in that and believe me i am trying my level best to do that. If people somehow mock you saying that you are fat or ugly screw them and ignore them directly if they are a friend.

lying

2010-09-17T22:15:00.002+08:00

Lying, is it really a crime? why do we human actually lie? and is it that necessary to tell one? question after question I ask, but all i getting is lying is something that we shouldn't do and god will be really mad on us if we ever tell one no matter its a small lei or a big lie a lies is still a lie.

Yes, I have to agree if we lie a lot, people wont ever believe us, because they believe on what ever we said is untrue. There is such punishment we have to face if we ever tell one back in those days chillies was the one thing we have to fear because parents believe that if the children tell a lie chillies is the one weapon that can teach us all a lesson. creepy as it sound it actually works. no kids ever dare to tell a lie after that traumatic moment. Then again when we talk about the human feelings,can we really accept the truth as what we all claim we can? sometimes by telling the whole truth people can't just accept their own disadvantages or their own mistake. If people ego is just in the way can by telling the truth really can make someone feel better? sometimes i really wonder.

After watching the movie tittle " the invention of lying" i have to say I dont want to live in that kind of world and i rather accept lies than the truth. not all truth is delightful to hear. If the truth can save a life, why not, but what if the truth can kill someone? like that one scene where the neighbour come out with all sort of way to kill him self because he cant accept his disadvantages.
if you notice when the main actor told something which is considered a lie he accept it in a very positive way and in the same time the main actor hel to save a life. so on what i can say is not all lie is sinful. there is reason why people lie and its not to get any attention. if u see the scene before the mother passed away, she was really scare to face death, but the minute the hero told his mother how heaven is such a beautiful place where each people will receive big house there the mother went in peace and take death as something that is peaceful. i can understand the feeling of the main actor on seeing how the mom have to suffer to face death its really terrifying and heartbroken to see our love one in doubts. So in this context i feel that a lie is not actually a big sin when it actually save a life.

as for the sue of lie in advertising. its actually a way to sell. people or consumer they are easily believe the company is tested scientifically or proven my others buyers that the product is good to use. Imagine if advertising is telling us about the truth there is two sort of consequences it happen one the company will face a really bad bankruptcy and second people self esteem will be the no.1 enemy towards all the consumer and I dont think we want that to actually happen right? for example the coke advertisement that was shown in the movie, would people buy when the actor said it can give you diabetics? people will have doubt on purchasing the item and in the same time market will drop for the company.

So, lets say the world is telling us all about the truth like what is shown in the movie its so true untill it make people feel heartless towards one another. Do you want to live in a world that is heartless? i doubt that because people just cant accept the real ugly of the truth.

sincerity.

2010-09-12T23:09:00.002+08:00

Competing. Is it that necessary among us human? do we have to talk everyone as our treat? do we really have to that? Yes, its true that we need competitor to be the best, but do we need to treat them like enemies? I know all this thoughts is rather bullshit, but if all this wasn't happening can the world be a better place? people wanted peace in the world, but if you still think the other person is so much better then you and you need to bring them down how can the peace we all wanting to be real? just a thought there.

In college life, working, even in family bragging and competing is just something that is pain in the ass and to be honest I hate it, but too bad i cant escape it. the world is rather cruel when come to the human feelings. I don't mind competing if it for the best of me, but some people they compete due to reason that are just waste of time. seriously is that really necessary? sigh..

sometimes i just wish that everything we do is sincere rather than for a purpose.

life is just confusing

2010-09-09T01:10:00.002+08:00

I am seriously addicted over Shane Dawson videos in Youtube. Thanks to my fellow classmate that actually intro me to the other world of youtube which I seriously dunno about it. So ya been watching some of his random videos and one video actually struck me. The video was made after his grandma passed away( may she rest in peace) he eventually said something about appreciating the people we love. it somehow touch me because lately a lot of story is been happening in my life and sometime I have to admit I took my parents for granted towards their kindness. Sometimes subconsciously I do act like a total biacth around them and compare to me and brother I'm the one that somehow spent the less time with them. sigh life is sure frustrated when comes to time.

Sometimes it make me wonder, why things change when we grow up? ya i know personal space is needed, but so far I notice it somehow made things turn to misunderstanding situation. I have to agree growing up is never easy regardless what life we have, but the fact that growing up to be something that is not what our parents guide is rather depressing sometimes. Yes! its true I'm just naive girl and a lot of things can just randomly happen it just hurt me that my parents are worried over my safety. I mean because I know that they will somehow worry over what ever I'm doing I take things one step at a time rather then to go all way straight. Sometimes I wonder why do we change now? why did I retaliate towards them.sigh I do love them with all my heart and it sadden me that they can't see that.sigh

unfairness.

2010-09-04T00:27:00.003+08:00

Life! sometimes its just so unfair for some people. Promises! its something that you shouldn't make if you know You gonna break someone heart on it. The minute we feel over joy and excited bad news is always there to hunt you down.

sigh, my heart felt really hurt when I heard that we cant go for the Europe trip nor London. its really not fair and we all were looking forward for the trip. I mean why is Taylor's making such a big a deal on this. We did suggest earlier on going to London rather than Barcelona, but they insisted that we go to Barcelona and now the deal is off due to high price all our dream is being crush like seriously. sigh life is really unfair on us.

confusion

2010-08-15T17:51:00.002+08:00

I feel rather depress knowing that how Malaysian people think. I dont know maybe because I'm being over paranoid or just that my idea cant be used. For the last few hours i been browsing through the net and i somehow get inspired by some paper made design that I know we all can do and I know how to make sure the paper be durable and waterproof and all that just that the question is would people buy it?

The wannabe and the real people

2010-08-11T16:57:00.004+08:00

There were a talk about how life as a graphic designer and i have to agree with all their info. although a life as a student designer is pretty much the same just that our level is still under minimum exposure. It's really hard to be a good designer now days and its just a pain in the eyes when a random person declare their self as a designer with their little knowledge of illustrator and photoshop software, but 1 question tho. if these people think that they are a designer why do they still want to hire a designer? hmm i wonder.

Anyway the talk did give us a head up how ugly our design world is rejection is the best word and high pay check is really something that is hard to get. Passion is needed in everything we do in design and the most scary part to heard about it was the fact that you can lose interest in designing scary isn't it. Yes! I have to agree on the part where as a designer emotional is our greatest enemy and the fact that rejection can lead us to depression and pretty much soon suicidal case. Although as a student a designer to be depression is just a stress that is really hard to handle by as. A designer we are not a good friend of depression it can make us turn delusional although designer are not an artist per said, but we share a lot in common with therm regardless our work is mainly for public viewer and so called money passport, but we also can be rather insane when we hit the right stress point.

People always thought that life as a designer is easy, kacang hijau( with various of colour) stuff, sit around and play with computer and the worst sentence they ever spill is 'I also can do what you do le" seriously just 2 words i just want to tell u people that eventually said all that it's a letter that start with an F and end with a U( due to fasting cursing is not allow) anyway let just said that being a designer or designer to be life isn't that happening for us, so dont rub on our face about facts that we called as bunch of crap and lastly a friend massage to some people:

"PLEASE! don't ruin our career because you know one or two things about illustrator and photoshop"

5th sem

2010-08-07T00:27:00.002+08:00

5th semester started and like usual we decided to snap the first week of class picture where we all look happy and "alive" well sort off. last semester ended with such BANG! in the picture although its only half of us, so now await for the last week of the sem were we all surely be more insane and lifeless in the end.lol!

the adorable panda's

2010-07-25T15:49:00.004+08:00

I am a real big fan of the panda bear especially the cub of the bear. what not to love them? they are just a cute furry animal that just know how to be adorable even when they are sleeping. I been in love with these furry animal ever since i was young, well to be honest i love all the bear family until one day I realize that most of the brown bear attack people and they are very very dangerous until one day I saw this black and white creature in the t.v just minding it own business and munching over the bamboo shoot. I promise my self that what ever it is i will one day see this cute creature with my own 'bear' eyes. If only they can be adopted I surely be there in line with the other panda maniacs. If i ever I can adopt one I shall name it Machichan.

The animal below is called as the red panda and it doesn't belong to the bear family instead it belong to the feline family. Well to be honest I only knew today that these animal exist and according to the research I made these animal belong to the almost distinct animal and how sad. the minute i saw this adorable picture of this furry animal I couldn't help it just to fall in love with it.look at the face its just too adorable to resist!!

yesterday and today

2010-07-23T23:23:00.006+08:00

yesterday on the 22nd of July we the design student from Taylor's University College went to Genting Highland to have some fun screaming activities. the trip was AWESOME!!! it was my first time entering the outdoor theme park and the experience was just memorable. I scream a lot and now suffering from sore throat which i expect it to happen anyway so here are the picture that i took from liyana's photo album..^^

7/8 of the design student who is ready to play all the rides!

the first ride we played I dont know what the name of
the game, but what I remember we all were flying up into
the sky, well almost.

the pirate ship..the fun eventually begin when the ride swing
a little bit higher.

look! i found machichan!!hahaha

posing like the mascot! hahaha it was fun!

THIS RIDE!! HOOORH! one word INSANE!

the weather there was awesome and the fog was quite bad, but cool!
and when we reach the top of the track , we hardly see anything.

and ya~ this mineral water is call as "only drinking water" =.=''

it was the day where i can be a kid again instead of being a grown up

and today 23/7/10 I decide to straighten my hair
back due to a lot of complain.=.=''

a beauty melodic

2010-07-19T22:49:00.003+08:00

Love? some people would do anything for it, some people would die for it and some people cant live without it. People do crazy things for this four letter words L.O.V.E. the real meaning behind it its rather beauty than a nightmare. Passion is include as a package of this love word and believe me if we put this powerful feeling towards anything we do sincerity is born in it. Love is not only to be shown towards human, but love is needed to be shown in every thing that we do. in relationship without love chaos can happen between the 2 people example such as mis-communication, controlling of life, disrespect and etc. in terms of working without love the job will be rather boring to face everyday, projects without love it be rather dull,boring and dead. cooking without love the taste be off and error is easily be seen. mom always told me that in what ever we do love is needed in it to make everything look smooth and nice and yes! i believe in it. what if a love potion is created to cover up the real feelings from a human? believe a love that come in a portion form or in black magic way is never a real thing because it is not sincere from our heart and in the end that extra device will just turn to be hatred in the end. so in the end all we need is the real love in this world and please stop faking it if you don't feel it.

fantasy and reality.

2010-07-16T20:50:00.001+08:00

"if i had you" the song title that sang by Adam Lambert. first of all what i can said is the meaning of the song is really deep and the beat of the song is really awesome. if only i could say this to that very person i await in this world or someone tell me this very 4 words in ears, too bad all that is just a fantasy. I am a girl who believe in true love and I somehow believe all love should be in all those fairytale and if i ever found my true love i would never let him go. like how the song said nothing is more precious than him or her. Although i been crush for several time in terms on believing this so call fantasy love on what i can said I still believe in it regardless I will one day regret my self which i hope not to happen. there is a reason why people love each other and there is a reason why they are meant for each other. today after watching this one real life drama in MTV that show how this couple suffer from time crucial and misunderstanding really open up my eyes. the boyfriend work as a graphic designer and all he care about is his work and all day long he only either face the mac or have a moment with his phone with his client. it somehow strike me. Will I somehow be like that dude? I spent most of my time with the assignment 24/7 computer is my companion and my phone is my soul in terms of music. i have to change all this or else disaster will happen in the future.sigh life sure is hard when you finally see it.

holiday for now!

2010-07-13T09:57:00.003+08:00

college out and holiday in! well yesterday was suppose to be the day i really start my holiday, but end up when to college to seek forgiveness to our dearest miss jinchi. other then that i finally realize something yesterday apparently there is 3 hafiz in kbu so yesterday i met the hafiz that mr ken told us about. well! he was not that afro dude encik hafiz instead his the normal version.lol! he be teaching the MD student so i wish him luck as a fellow kbu-ans.

so after all the short conversation with the lecturer we all end up being clueless on what to do and someone eventually mention they wanted to eat and ya! we went to the nasi lemak shop and sat there and sat there. then lawrence start to ask about the Genting trip! im just hype because mom eventually gave her green light and yes my first ever trip out with people. sad isnt it? hahaha well used to it already actually. so back to the story i remember the last time we all as in the family went to Genting back when i was 5 i think and i never once step foot in the outdoor theme park beacause 1. i was too young and 2. no one want to play there. so i finally stepping my foot in the outdoor theme for how many years.lol!

as for today Meow is sleeping over and meeting her later to watch movie seriously i love holiday finally can meet up with her and no assignment that can hold me back too bad adam and naza is not joining the outing i really miss then tho. wish that one we can do the brother sister gathering again! hahaha

cereal design

2010-07-11T01:04:00.003+08:00

sugar k-pop that is the name that was given to me from darul on making this cereal design come alive. well for now let just said i hate the brand name Charlie's because some inner personal drama eventually happen to me in making this design.the whole idea came in rather in a last minute and alot of changes did happen here and there, but somehow rather im happy with the design it do look like a cereal box in the end although some major item was notice last minute which is after the printing, but i think its ok ( i think)

everything change now!

2010-07-11T00:17:00.002+08:00

the half of the student in Taylor's Diploma in Graphic Communication Design, i still remember the very first time i met all this stranger which are now can be said as the crazy classmate i have. i cant compare them with my kbu family because they are now my Taylor's family and through out this semester all of us a somehow day by day is getting close to each other and somehow driving each other nuts! although we are the small group in the college, but our bond now is rather close then before. in someway I'm glad that when i enter Taylor's I eventually stuck with these bunch insane people rather then with the junior. ^^

end of semester

2010-07-09T20:04:00.002+08:00

its finally the holiday and i wont leave my blog to dust anymore, well technically i did blog even when assignment is pilling up like mount fuji, but this time i m back for whole 3 weeks of doing nothing! OMG the word nothing can easily made me smile.lol! well back to the bloggie. today the 4th semester end, but it didnt end nicely tho. we eventually made miss jinchi cried and seriously cried. we all been acting such a brat where we took advantage of her nice and patient attitude and well this is what happen she finally broke down and cry. i been her ex student and this never once happen to me and as what meow told me she never once cried, she usually tell us off rather then to walk out in tears. gosh the thought of it is just making me feel even guilty. we are really sorry miss jinchi. i only been twice late for her class and that is all because of the ktm,but other then that i make sure that i be in her class on time,because i know how strict she is when come to time, but then again we all are in this together so regardless how early i am in her class i still feel the impact. no pointing fingers needed in this issue.

so other then this i want to share a lil secret. im in holiday now and there are planty plans need to be follow especially catching up with my sleep and speen more time with my family.yay! more drama and movies to watch later.muahahahaha

gcd people in a fun way

2010-07-09T02:09:00.002+08:00

today something fun was happening in the photography studio where we partial of the design student mis-used of min shen camera and the photography studio where we did a insane photoshoot! it was just fun and the only thing we all in mind was laughter and no assignment to held us from giving this big laugh. i feel that everyone now is way different the first time i join them we are more family like now rather then a stranger to each other. so i wish that this warm that we getting from each one of us can stay like this until we graduate in fact i hope it last till eternity because the relationship that we all have now is different then the stranger feeling we have when we first start the 4th sem. the end of it due give a bit of highlight in all of us.

i wonder...

2010-07-05T23:40:00.002+08:00

after watching 17 again it made me wonder 2 things tho. well first of all i believe its true we will start to realize the minute we lose that someone in our life, regardless its death apart or separated if that person somehow still care for each other. i always believe in having true love, but so far everything i discover is just a bit of bummer.although i never once close to a real relationship, but learn trough love of a friendship. some people told me that we have to date to know, but honestly i feel that love come when the day you start smiling for odd reason when you are alone and thinking about someone regardless its a friend or a total stranger. do real a love actually exist? do love is really beautiful as how some people told me? im not saying im craving over it,its just that i wonder how real and deep is some people love. i know its rather impossible for me to receive this, but if ever i found a person that really understand the meaning of love i kept him. for now, who ever that actually found this special person i would definitely want to say congrats and dont ever let them go because if a person that care over the eternity of love is really a wanted!

are they really proud of me?

2010-07-03T13:41:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder i am really that trouble to my parents now that i have grown up? are they proud of me? are they doing all this because they have no choice? i know all this question is something that i shouldn't thought of, but that day what ever they told me really make me cried and i feel that what ever im doing now is rather a waste of time.

the story was a hawker owner told my parents how his daughters are doing really well in their studies and somehow end up in a Universities and how he do all this is for his daughters and the minute my parents enter the car they eventually told me the story how proud of them knowing the daughter of the hawker is in Universities and how they study really hard to achieve their dream and then my dad add in saying that i should work really hard like them and all that. what sad me the most is that cant they see that I've been doing all this time? I mean yah im not excellent enough in my studies back in high school year, but now all i ever think about is work and somehow exert my self to the point i can break down any minute or second. cant they see who i am struggling just to make their money worth? cant they see that im doing all this because i really want to be someone? cant they see that i been sacrificing a lot of things just to achieve their hope? if i were the old aqilah back in the school year all this is rather a waste of time on study when i know i am as stupid as what people think of me, but instead i get up and i want to show all these people that im not. too bad my own parents dont see that coming. they think that im still a slacker that only know to waste their money. i mean if you want to be disappointed on my brother go ahead, but please dont judge me as the same as him.

dont they realise what ever they said its really eating me up inside? i mean its not that i want to bather my self this much its just that i cant voice it out to u guys that what ever you said where wrong. is it because of me staying back alot giving you such problem to pick me up? well let me this the only reason i stay back is to finish up all my work so that i can spend time with my family even often its not that i simply satying back for fun. sigh sometimes im just clueless over them.

awarness for depression campaign

2010-07-01T12:15:00.006+08:00

this is our final project for art direction and communication class, its a pair work and my partner is miss teddy thung her self(the female model in the poster). it was a really nice experience working with her with this project and i have to said i had fun! yay!

so the whole project is actually a campaign on awareness where we have to choose 3 topics that were given and create an awareness to people. the whole concept was to achieve happiness to people who suffer from the last stage of depress or people who is suffering the normal depress level. our aim was to tell these depression people that there are people who care over them and all they need is to talk to someone. the 1st poster which is considered as the big main poster is targeted to the last stage of people who suffer from depression where by having depression we tend to blind our self in seeing happiness as for the 2 press ads is more on telling these depression people to put down their mask and live in it instead of faking the happiness. the feed back we received was good and there are just minor twit need to be done. as for our ambient ads our approach was rather friendly where we walk around campus and pass out post it and calling people to right encouraging massages to their friend who is facing depression letting them know that there are people who care and the tag line for the campaign was " share your colour life with those who face depression, show you care!

from near if you see you manage to read all those encouraging massage written by friend who care and from distance view you can see a word of "HAPPINESS" appear.

in process of these campaign we eventually talk to the campus counselor and useful information was given to us to make these campaign a success!

credits: many thanks to

darul: photographer
lawrence: male model
Dr Adnan: the campus counselor

an email that make me burst laughing!

2010-06-28T21:43:00.002+08:00

the minute i saw this in my inbox the first thing came into my head was worry-ness, but the minute i open the massage i just burst out laughing and in the same time terharu abit lol! i did trust them its just that i feel i have a responsibility to know what is going on and i was concern because im having a good time over here in bangkok and they have to struggle due to the work. i feel bersalah over it actually. but anyway darul did give me a surprise on the work. so i wolud like to congrats him over it.^^

i feel hyprocrite.

2010-06-22T22:35:00.002+08:00

i am trying my level best to escape from unnecessary stress, its best enough i have to face hectic time consuming in college, but now this? oh please can u just over this crap. as a child i am trying my level best to be patient, but i dont get it why do u have to be like this to us? i mean to me. why do you always wish something that is just too cruel for us? i mean yes i have to agree somethings that we did is just stupid and brainless, but do u really need to say all those? how sure are you i am not responsible? how sure are im not gonna take care of you? how sure are that im gonna leave you in the old folks home? why do you have to wish such things? what if what ever you wish be granted? who gonna end up getting the blinded blame? i am not aloud to ask this question to you and to be honest its killing me inside. i am scare over this. currently a depression project is going on and although its a shame to admit yes! i am facing a great depression and i am trying my level best to pull my self out from this shit hole. i feel rather hypocrite because i am telling people to voice out their problem, but im my self is one of this few people. i hate to be confused where it will let to harmful thoughts, too bad all my mom could see is my fake smile. to be honest i cant voice out my problem to my family member because in someway their are not even helping me. i know reality hurts, but when im telling you my problem please dont just dont slam the door on my face. sigh! how i wish life is just more simple then these.

i drink coffee to live lol!

2010-06-22T11:11:00.002+08:00

today i drank two cup of coffee and to be honest what is new for me actually. lol! the last thing i remember i was an anti coffee drinking where i never even dare to touch a cup of coffee because of the bitterness taste.hah! but now coffee is my new best friend and its not that healthy for a lady to drink it alot. when i ever i stay up the only thing i need is my daily dose of coffee and hoping i will stay awake till the end of the days. sigh. today i dress up as if im ready to leave college and enter the working world lolers so i should join them and drink more coffee.haha.if my mom know that i drink coffee more then i should she be bombastic.

u are blinded to see

2010-06-19T21:47:00.002+08:00

its not that i dont care about ur misery-ness, its just that u making me want to puke with ur words. i mean ya i know u are madly in love, but why? i mean she going back to study its not that she going back to flirt around. who care u cant get to see her everyday i mean if u love her as what u said this is the time to show is the love between u too are for real or just a total fake. i know i never close to have a relationship, but how sure are you its love that u both have? its a challenge from god just ace it la. haish! i know im being such a blind judge mental girl all this while, but the fact that i need to see u in pain in the near future is just more frustrated to see. from a 3rd person view i see that this girl is just mainly playing u off for her advantages and that is bad. i mean as a sister it be something dreadful if a person do that to the person i love. all this is because i care for u and too bad u cant see it. u are mostly blinded over this love situation.sigh

bunch of annoying creatures.

2010-06-18T22:46:00.002+08:00

argh! i just hate my brothers, they are the most annoying creature i ever know. one is to exist on annoy me and with is to exist to act dumb. wtf! why are they making life so complicated? my small brother called me and i reply him and what did he do? act like his deaf and keep on calling my name. wtf! because of him now my parents just simply accusing me on something that i didnt do. they said i purposely didnt answer his called. i scream my lungs out on answering him, but he end up annoy me and keep on calling my name i open my door and told me to do something. i told him to tell it to my big brother and as usual his such a lazy ass boy keep on annoy me to the max. i feel like slapping him for 100x and as for my parents. why? i heard u called and the reason that took me awhile to open the door is because im at the other end of my room and i need to walk from that end to the door. what they aspect me to just sit next to the door? i heard they called even when my music are on what else do they want? argh!

just let me go!

2010-06-12T15:50:00.002+08:00

you said you only going to let me go when i act like a real adult. yes i have to agree that i act rather childish this is because i always feel life is unfair when im in the adult world. i do act as an adult its just that you are too blinded to even notice it. you attack me more on my flaws and directly stated that im irresponsible. isnt that unfair to be judge like that? the day i be a real adult is the day you let me decide on what is wrong and what is right for my self, rather then for you to order me around. im 20 years old but yet u treat me as if im still in my kindergarten years. for god sake! give me a chance to choose my own clothes and my own way to cut my hair. its best enough your are taking control of my entire life. there is a reason why child rebel, i wish not to be one because i know it will hurt you even more, what are you trying to do to me? what ever you said i kept it inside hoping all those fault assumption to go away. i know i did all those irresponsibility things, but that doesnt mean im it. why cant you see all the good things we all did for you? why do u have to accuse of the things that we never have attention to do? why do you have to see our negativity even more then our qualities? sigh sometimes i just feel that im living a fake world where all this while everything that i do is being judge. its worst enough people judge me out there now the people that i love judge me blindly. how sad is that.

its a fact of life!

2010-06-06T22:03:00.003+08:00

so what if people dont like me. i dont aspect everyone on this earth to like me anyway. a friend of mine told me that someone hate me. to be honest been there, done that! seriously its not that im proud of this its just that you really cant aspect everyone to like you and i dont crave over it actually. my friend is in a stage of pissing off with her and he even teach me to put boogers in any food i give her. lol! i appreciate that my friend was trying to be a good friend to me its just that im not a type of person to do that, well back in the days i would, but now im just a lazy ass girl to do all that things. so what i told him is that its ok! i dont lose anything actually so what if she faking around me im not the one facing all the sins(lol) people do bad to me, shall reply them with goodness because in someway one day she be a shame of her action. furthermore we are never once close at the beginning, so what i can said is...its ok! its the fact of life

passion?

2010-06-03T09:52:00.002+08:00

yesterday my friend somehow ask me what is passion about. in someway that question do make me think alot and somehow start asking my self do i have it in me? in someway i believe i have passion in what im currently doing which is arts. although it fall under design, but this is the path i have choose for my future. i believe in my self if i somehow have no passion in what i do i wont willing to sacrifise all my time and strength for this. i know my work isnt that great compare to others, but im willing to give a space of improving in me. i know by doing this i can show my self that im not that stupid as what people perseive me back in the old days.

i believe that comparing your work to the great is something stressful. its good that we want to follow their style or even to duplicate their move, but in the end the work going to end up as our work not theirs. what about the fact that if that person is good in that area? jealousy tend to happen and such nonsense scenario can happen. i mean is it really necessary? i mean somepeople have birth talent and some people have to strive to get talent and i always believe that we human each one of us have our own potential so what is the purpose of comparing again?

back to the passion question: passion is something that we love to do and if we start comparing and bashing people around us on how they work where is the love in that? i mean in someway passion make the person we are. by having it in us we willing to strive hard and sacrifice a lot of things and by having passion in our work you can see alot of different in it, the work seems more to be alive and the feeling of love can be easily reflect in the work. that is what i believe. a work without this let just said it be dull. somehow i have experience the situation and now i beleieve in a new theory where you cant force passion, forcing it will make everything even worst, so in the end you just have to let it flow slowly.

went out and watch this!

2010-05-29T10:56:00.006+08:00

yesterday when out with the family and watched this epic movie shrek the 3rd to be honest i found that this last episode is even better then the last 2 ones. this time the storyline is more connected to the viewers and it somehow gave me impact on not to take things in life for granted because when it just gone things wont be the same anymore. especially towards our love one. there were one part where suddenly i cried. so yah! go and watch it!
you will see this again, but this time puss in boots have a even cuter and funny character and feature. he look even cuter this time!

and u will see baby ogre! hahaha lil cute adorable ogre..

bikini packaging design

2010-05-24T09:31:00.002+08:00

my proud packaging design. lolers! well for our 2nd assignment for graphic class we were assign to do a packaging design and guess what i choose? if u said bikini well we have the same mind then.lol! so this my final product packaging design and i have to said it turn out pretty well and i was not even close to stress. that is like world record for me tho. well anyway the box somehow have the same design as the bikini just that i couldn't get the exact same colour, but this is the close one. so ya its a gold bikini. at the back of the box there is a pocket where to put the product in and i was really inspired by the women sexy body lol! ya i know the boobs are to fake and round so just pretend this model did her boobs job! lol! so this is how it looks when the consumer put it in the handbag/bag.

weird

2010-05-23T19:21:00.002+08:00

something weird yesterday happen, well one of my cousing buzz me in fb and to be honest she not those cousin who im close with in fact out of that huge number in the family i only close with one person and some shit happen when i was young that made me feel that i can live without their existence. so this cousin of mine i guess she was that bored and stated to buzz me up. well i dont mind about it. its just weird to see that. she did her first ever straightening, so a good cousin to her i advice her on the do's and dont's for straightening and she seriously making me want to do my hair now, to bad i got to wait for june. so then she eventually told me about my cousin who is in aust gonna come back here and to be honest we all miss her. so then she told me how she wanted to hang out with her and there is never a chance coz one of my other cousin always gonna be there. so she feel annoyed i guess.. well anyway thats all.lol!

from 1 become 2

2010-05-19T16:08:00.003+08:00

remember the time when aqilah do something insane and somehow brought her to a total chaos? well its happening again. today the show and tell of our product and i finally expose the super gold bikini i insanely bought last sunday..erm now instead of do 1 packaging i need to do 2 and im the only one! wtf! wasnt it supposed to be only one product..paiseh! i just dig my own grave the minute i bought that bikini...so now i need to do a pair together with guys swimming trunk and wth i need to find the same gold and black trunk..guys dont wear that unless they are weirdos i think. as if i dont have enough work already to think about madness!

Stop motion by our half..

2010-05-17T22:16:00.000+08:00

this video was made by our half the multimedia syudent work..its their first ever attempt on doing stop motion..this was made by karheng, demon and jason..love the whole shot and not bad for a new timer...really make me want to learn this subject now...

changes

2010-05-16T08:31:00.002+08:00

it is fun to see that my face slowly becoming clearer by those acne scar. i promise my self that first of all i will take good care of face where i will make sure all the scar disappear and after that i will take care of my body. i dunno although i said i dont care how my body look it some eating me up to take care of my body and make sure i succeed to ideal body i want. well its not a top model body or something its just that i want to be at least size m for my bottom and top because there is a lot of outfit that require body with good shape so far my shape isnt that nice..lol! so what ever it is i will succeed towards my goal! hwaiting!

disaster much!

2010-05-15T23:34:00.002+08:00

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhHHHHH!!

meow,arts and his a g**..say what!

2010-05-13T21:59:00.003+08:00

today was a fun day for me somehow share my meow to my taylor's friend and well its good to see they get along well...meow treat me chillis today and im sorry i didnt finish up my food the burger was huge for medium size tummy..well anyway i promise her i shall treat her something expensive when i get my 3rd pay when i already have a job as a designer..lol! and we eventually when to kino to see the tohoshinki keep faith fair..my god! can nose bleed seeing those magazine and i seriously wish to have one where they have the pic of my lovely hubby(changmin) and bf's(jang guen suk, ju ji hoon and mickey) but the price was just too expensive and all the word are in japanese character...sob sob! the exhibition in the petronas gallery really open up my eyes where now i am more confident on becoming a good designer for the future. guess this is just the right dose for me to boost up my confident back after the last week disaster. i feel i can achieved what the designer in the gallery achieved if i keep on track..so aqilah sshi aja aja hwaiting!

after klcc i and meow brave our self and endure the heavy rain just to visit a huge cat origami statue at pavi and meow wish was granted no rain can stop her from that..lol! so after meow left i decided to disturbed lil miss susshi and she somehow tell me news where all i could do was laugh listening to it. apparently that buster guy kinda kiss a guy and now everyone is questioning his status..is his straight or gay lol! it was just hilarious listen to his desperation issue...hahaha..well what ever it is its his life so i dont feel that its not my problem to think over it..

baking and love

2010-05-12T02:01:00.002+08:00

baking is somehow apart of my passion 2nd to arts, well the reason why i always turn to this sugary diet is all because it gave me pleasure and whenever i eat it i feel like the whole world is mine. this is like my estacy to get high.lol! i always promise my self that if i cant cook that well atleast i need to knw how to bake.the reason to this promise is because i believe that if ever one day i have a boyfriend i wish to atlest bake something for him, this is also been applied towards the people that i love and like. i believe whenever i bake i will somehow share my warm love with them.i believe there is a better umph! when u baked something for the love one rather the to get it in a shop unless you fail that us acception.lol!

emptiness in a work

2010-05-09T17:27:00.002+08:00

my heart fell really empty lately, even the fact of doing my work the passion that i once have now is just slowly going down to the drain. i feel tired and this is really bad. now my heart feel as if what ever i do with bring me down and that scare me. the fact that im forcing im making everything even worst that is even scary. sigh..i wish this heart will be back with full of love towards my works. hwaiting!!

curse u reality!

2010-05-09T02:28:00.003+08:00

good bye reality hello fantasy, well due to over stress diagnose on friday i decided to pull out my korean dose drawer. so i end up watching Gong and well as usual i will fall in love with the hero.lolers! well anyway meet my new so called fantasy bf...well his not that new though just that its been a while i drool over him. ju ji hoon is name and his now serving for the military for 2 years damn! i wonder why he was really quite lately. so what ever it is hope he is safe serving his country though. there were a news saying that his in jail due to drug abuse, well truthfully as long its not a death sentence story i will support him..lol!

ok back to reality..crap! although the fact that resting is fun, but once i receive a news about our e pub work i seriously can die.. i mean what the eff with that lecturer his like over doing in giving us works. yes im complaining! as scary as it sound this year the course is severely stressing too the max and i am really scare over the end result.so far i feel that everything is in an ugly situation. our e pub lecturer just too picky and he is one hard lecturer on satisfying on our work. sigh....im scared over monday because there is a lot of things i need to do...sigh and mr ken work need to start tomorrow and i shall not waste the 2nd chance he gave us! aqilah hwaiting!!!!

sigh

2010-05-03T19:48:00.002+08:00

all of a sudden my body couldn't take anymore the stress that been haunted me. i try to fake in every way i could it just i felt i have hit my last nerve in keeping it in me. all i need was consolation by my love one, but they end up shutting the door and somehow lecture me over the matter. i promise my self that i wouldnt never again breakdown, but the burden that i felt now is just too much. i know it might sound childish, but im just a human being. its not about the rejected work that i received, its not about how i have difficulties in some of my work, its just that i finally couldnt take it anymore. i feel stress and i feel annoyed the fact that im rushing for time and the family is trying their hard to create another drama. coming home is always a hell listening to things that are just giving you more tension. enough with the workload i get at college i dont need one at home.

i am rushing for time and i am sacrificing everything i could, but why are they dragging me in this situation i had enough listening to nonsense i just wish that they stop. sigh...

yay! to vector art

2010-05-02T19:40:00.006+08:00

i have to say i am totally proud of my self, this are the few vector art i did for my electronic publishing class assignment. there are few more to go sigh! like 11 more to go our of 16..well anyway just wanted to share the happy news because this is my first ever attempt on doing this!lol!

bloody taylor's!

2010-04-29T19:12:00.002+08:00

with the current load work that i get is pretty stressful and in someway i feel that its good because i feel not as relax as last time. lol! although the work load is pretty much cant be a complain things but its just its stressing in someway. even sleeping is waste of time now..sigh! now i know how mei's felt during her 1st year. but what ever it is i have to live with it since i choose this as my career path..like they said designer really have no life sometimes.lol!

well the campus...well one word..SUCK! i mean the building may look finish outside, but the inside looks barely done and its just amazed us how a new building have an old building looks where we found huge spider in our class. the blocks and the places of class is pretty confusing and the worst part is during lunch hour. we found out that to eat lunch 11am is the nicest time and as for 12 just considered as vending machine is ur lunch provider. the que to get food is like super damn long and the sitting place is damn limited. the price..sigh! let just said high class price of food like more then 5 less then 10...even chocolate at the vending machine is expensive. sigh! i really love our old campus compare this huge white one...and oh ya taylor's now is an eco friendly university college where we have cows barn as ur neigbour and early morning you can seriously aspect a very "pleasant" smell from our friendly neigbour...

no sleep for me!

2010-04-28T04:56:00.003+08:00

today is the first ever time i didnt actually shuts my eyes. well the fact that i finish my work at 4 am well kinda and i need to get ready at 5 to go to college..so i decided to just wait and the feeling isnt that pleasant...but guess i can survive it! yeh! thank god class is up to 12 and i can sleep later when i reach home..i decide to do the other 2 design in ktm later my brain just cant work anymore and seriously im really sleepy...sigh! lets just hope that i wont used so much of my limited energy today....

up close and personal...

2010-04-22T14:17:00.002+08:00

see that yellow or white looking spot? yes that is the criminal that causes me so much pain its a thing called as ulcer which is sooooo damn bloody painful and its my first experience having it on my tongue....and today is my 3rd day of having this unexpected guest in my mouth..

hah? what? huh? ooohh~ what?

2010-04-19T18:56:00.002+08:00

the hah? what? and huh? situation was back yesterday.lol! well let just said somebody left a little massage that make me gave a question on why do you have to that? obviously i been silent all this while is because i don't feel like having you apart of my life even as a friend. aiyo! some people.

loving this song!!!!

2010-04-18T11:44:00.001+08:00

this song is just seriously awesome the beat is really up beat and i been looking for this kind of song since ever...the mv is really creatively mix..the name of the band is w& whale and seriously their song is like a mix of jazz & techno...as for this mv the name of the song is dunk shoot! feat 2am jokwon

i hate the current trend news.

2010-04-13T15:45:00.002+08:00

i have a problem with cruelity of life but its not towards me infacts its towards those life-less baby that are found in a place that is rather depressing to say or even see. babies, they are still human regardless they are premature or legal of doing as long as they fall under god creation they are still refer as one. this behavior is even lower then an animal, its just in-humanity. i feel sad for those little victim, because they only get to see the second look of life and the first thing that they face was death. isnt it just cruel? i just wish that this sort of trend will stop. heck why do this ever start? we live in a civilize country and this people just act as if they are a part of the uncivil people.

i always believe in this such thing as punishment and what ever we do there is such punishment we bound to meet and i hope this heartless people will someday face they great punishment by god. because its just sad to see the front cover of a newspaper a baby was found life-less in such tragic way. sigh..

susshi that dont eat susshi

2010-04-12T23:43:00.004+08:00

first of all, meet my crazy yet insane best friend i called susshi. well wonder why she is called as that? the reason was pretty much easy the short form of her name is basically just sue and she a pretty much japanese addict back in the old days(which is like 2 years back lol)we start realising all those added sound at the end of the people name that been called which actually have different sound as for the guys they added as "kun" and as for the ladies "chan" is added at the end. so its either to start calling her sue-chan which is just as normal and directly been rejected by all of us and the next name we came out was sue-kun which made all of us laugh into tears because it just so funny to called her as a fruit and furthermore she not a guy and as if we care, but we reject it even though we like it.lol! so yeah because some of us are pretty much insane over korean we notice that at the end of each person name that been called will be added "sshi"..so because we started that trend we end up called he sue-sshi and it end up as a cute joke which end up as a nickname for this petite girl. haha

so yeah when ever im stuck with this girl especially when we get our self infront of the 8mp camera we tend to be our usual crazy self. yes! we just dont know to feel embarrassed among each other lol! even though my star sign commented that an aries are just too hard to be friend with a cancer i found our relationship is pretty much healthy lol!

so yeah u little miss gila girl. i know u gonna read this and im sure of it and im very sure the photo did it job to lure you in my blog..muahahahaha..well anyway just wanted to say thanks for being my insane friend yang sangat tak boleh blah! lol!!^^

an idea of giving highlights to them!

2010-04-12T14:06:00.002+08:00

today class f0r electronic pulishing is just so much of work compare to other subject. the fact that need to somehow publish our own book with the whole view of a professional work. the lecturer well let just said he talks alot and factual! which is a good thing..lol!

k! back to the work. I'm still having a hard time decideing for my title, but i know what i want to talk about. so basically im talking about people who give extra boost in this life and u can guess who of cause it be about my lovely family and and friends. i feel that without all this wonderful people i wont be able to actually feel happy and jumpy as i am now. regardless i experience such unrealiable friends back in the days, but the current friends that i have i much lighted my life compare to before. no matter from which college or courses they are the stranger people that i love as my family.

as for my family, well dramas always start best if there is a family value in our life.lol! as for my family eventhough there this ups and down, the ugly and the beauty we live to give and take with each other and we actually support each other when we in need of help and to be honest i never feel ashmed to have this family not even once even though i trash talk due to frustration. well just basic fact without our beloved parents no chance for us to even start breathing in this sphere yet cruel and beatiful world.right?

so let's just said this is somehow a way for me to do a tribute to the people that i love.

u are not one of us! so dont used our name b****

2010-04-10T11:57:00.005+08:00

i feel disturbed after seeing this one girl uses our Japanese family name which is Ogata. i know its such not a big of a deal is just that that is our family name here regardless its a random name in japan. the thing is that girl is one of my cousin girlfriend and when u said about gf means u are an outsider of the whole big family and if u want to use our family name u should seek approval from the Ogata big family..DUH!

i mean even though the family accept you as their daughter girlfriend but that doesn't mean we all accept u as one even though we already meet u once.she told my cousin she crazy about japanese but that doesnt mean u can simply used our family name u no respect girl...i mean even for us to use that name we just dont simply because it is something we respect argh! i dunno it just disturb me to the max its like plagiarism.

curry-less capati.

2010-04-09T09:34:00.003+08:00

is it weird for a girl who only eat capati without any curry? its like when a person eat roti canai without the curry does it considered weird? no right... well today i experienced a really complicated breakfast conflict. the conversation are state below:

aqilah: uncle 1 capati with planta on it and no curry(kuah)

uncle: huh?? no curry? are u sure

aqilah: *nod head* yup

uncle: it wont be nice just eat the capati like that..

aqilah: its k i just want the capati

*the uncle still want to win the debate and insisted me to eat with a curry*

uncle: do you know what is capati? its the white one..

aqilah: * wth* i know what is capati uncle

uncle: u really sure?

aqilah: yup, and one teh o ais with less sugar * hoping that he didnt ask me do you know what is teh o ais pulak* lol

......................about few minutes later..................................

my capati came without planta...wth!

aqilah: uncle saye maw planta

uncle: hah? why u x cakap

aqilah: i already cakap i want capati with planta and my kwan pun dengar

so he went back .......................then some one else sent the capati still without planta.....................

in the end i call the other guy to sapu the planta and and to make sure i went to the roti side and make sure they sapu my planta..lol!!! the uncle still cant accept the fact that i eat capati without curry teddy said when he came by he was still looking at my curry-less capati..lol!

postcard collection packaging design...

2010-04-09T00:33:00.002+08:00

on last wednesday we were required to produce a product that resembles our self to present on monday. so i end up doing a postcard to resemble me with a combination of 2 things my passion in photography and my love of traveling. so this is the final product and i really like the outcome..

i am now 2+0

2010-04-03T23:45:00.002+08:00

in few more minutes i be ending my final teen year and finally enter the year of the 20's.. sigh! im getting old d and i still act as a kid lol! why can the teen number be extand to something else..i mean something that is not 20 or above it. after looking back my teens year are pretty up and down and sometime it hit the awesome bell. im glad i make it safely along the teen years and now i have to gear up for the adulthood year which im not ready to face it. they said cruel life happen in ur adult years. yikes!

its happy to see those birthday wishes up on my fb wall. it shows that people care for u..lol!thank you for all the sweet wishes guys!!!

i wish for this, but i aint getting it...

2010-04-03T23:31:00.003+08:00

i am crazily looking for this kawaii pj's! but sadly it can only be bought either in korea or japan..T^T NOOOOOOOO~~~~ there is this one blog shop in singapore which sell the pj's but its been almost a year the blog is up and i doubt they still have this item and furthermore its in singapore dollar..which is 3x the price in malaysia.. even double NOOOOOO ooooooooo~~~

mummy!!!

the peak is the scariest place to be

2010-04-02T18:43:00.004+08:00

i found out that life can be cruel when we reach to certain level in life. recently a malaysian comedian passed away due to the deadly dengue fever(al-fatihah) he passed away at the peak of his career and this is not the first person to face such punishment in life. our beloved yasmin ahmad also died during her peak career and even the famous malaysian music composer loloq and even michael jackson who passed away when he is just few days before his comebacks.

even if we put it in some kind of a diagram the peak is never a safe place to be in. the chances a re always 50-50 and its a great story if u survive. yes its true for celebrity it is a good thing if they tune down during ur peak because they believe people will remember them in a long term, but the thought of death? its just something unbareble to look forward too.

is it a some kind of a punishment? or is it just fate? its true when they said you wouldn't know when is your turn. its just scary to know how short is our life is. sigh

finally class start!

2010-03-31T18:48:00.002+08:00

today our class officially start and this time we stand on our own group. the total amount in my class is 10 or 12 people yes! its a small group compare to the multimedia students. even though we are a small group the noise that we made is like a big group of people. so as for the new lecturer hope they can handle our gila. so Lawrence was voted to be the class leader and there is some sort of chart on being a leader of one department..lol!(that is so new)

to be honest the studio that we are in now soo much remind me of 1st foundation year. the table is the exact same white annoying table that always jatuh all of a sudden, the minute i enter the studio the feeling of entering the foundation studio just came back. i think i must have missed my foundation year. to be honest somehow 2nd year can be said as my 2nd semester of foundation year..

a) major 3 project with pack dateline..
b)history class-with having the same lecturer..
c)the current studio we are in

so what ever it is i will do my very best! i take this as my 2nd chance because during that 2nd sem in foundation i was a real slacker! hahaa...

guess in some way god did answer my..lol!

shock and amuse and shock and glad..lol!

2010-03-26T22:46:00.002+08:00

well the timetable out and shock to see that one of the lecturer name sound very very veeeeerry familiar...my ex lecturer is joining the taylors family and she teaching my class.. shock to know that she really coming to taylors, amused that i have a feeling this is the lecturer that mr charles told us that she have awesome tattoo..shock to know that i be back in her class and glad that i be back in her class..i dunno why! so what ever it is i shall do my best!!!

insane is back!

2010-03-25T22:06:00.002+08:00

looky~~~~

aaaaahhh~ someone has taken my heart..lol! well the fact that im soo much older then him, its such an heartbreak, but who care..lalalal we just 2 years of different..so who is this curly boy up there well his one of a new kpop group called f.cuz(focus) and his name is YEJUN *o*..

some interesting fact i found out he was born on the 2nd April( 2 days before mine ommo!! *O*)

his the lead singer of the group and i have to agree more because his voice is really just can melt one's heart..^^

after hearing his voice from this awesome video...i couldn't stop to like him even more.lol!!

tvxq bring us together

2010-03-25T18:01:00.003+08:00

after reading teddy super long post on how kpop fever started on her it somehow bring me back to my own kpop fever memory.lol! yes miss teddy i agree with u how tvxq bring people together and that is a totally awesome phenomena.hahaha..believe it or not we also kawan because of tvxq or more to said cause of our kpop fever( i am grateful that happen)..hahaha..

as for me.. my life do change alot ever since i come to have interest towards tvxq. its weird somehow i made a whole lot of good friend that have one thing in comment that is TVXQ FEVER!! yes the fact that i have to missed their concert twice somehow really made me want to cry badly.T^T the reason of not attending their concert were..

1. 2006 their debut appearance in Malaysia..well the time i know about them the concert was about few weeks to start and at that time i was busy fascinating on how adorable this guys look especially Hero( the first mv i watch was their rising sun mv jap ver and hero was wearing a t-shirt stated" fuck" statement at i directly falling for him).lol . the day i know that they were doing concert when astro advert about their concert tour and held a sms contest on getting 2 free tickets..yes! because of that advert i straight away took my phone and join the sms contest..it was a funny experience for me cause i was actually new about them and i dont even have any clue about their history or anything so with a brave heart and a brilliant mind of hentam question 4/5 was right! sadly u need total of 5 to get the tics and the wrong question that i answer was about who is the leader of tvxq..=.= at that time i only sempat to know hero and then i wanted to get the tic my self because at that time the ticket was pretty much cheap, but the problem at that time i was clueless on where to get the bloody ticket..so in the end i have to let that dream go..T^T

2. (long story short) 2007 their comeback concert was during my spm moment and mom was giving me the "Na-ah u r not going during ur exam time"look =.= so i end up holding back my tears..uuueeee...

so between the years of 2006 to end of 2007 i was really crazy tvxq fans..well im one of the cassie and back at that time i can actually said im in the gila cassie..yes! i bought anything and everything about them...from cd- sweets-chocolate sticks-necklace- books-posters to drink bottle. money was hard at that time( up until now) so i have to collect my daily pocket money..because of them i even skip break hour and lunch or anything that need money to spend on so that i can collect their item. i even start to take interest in learning hanguk(korean) just so that i can communicate with them well if i ever meet them( ya my biggest fantasy)..good and fun memory really happen back then in school year...there were one time me and ira exchanging partner...lol! ya i took changmin and she took hero..the fact that their were only 3 of us in a group that have the most interest in them so each of us start to called each other missus yunho( ivy), missus changmin( me) and missus hero( ira) and mostly when we stay back at school the white board was our victim on to write such fanfic story about them and having our dream on meeting them and the fact that we even dreamt of as their beloved wife yes! everything was there and we even brought our own marker....it was just funny..hahaa...

now that my fever is no longer that crazily high( means i finally step in my reality world) when i open back my tvxq drawer can somehow made me having the old happy feeling we used to have back then and how much i miss that year. i went and did something that u supposedly not allowed to do as a fan that is to calculate all those amount of money u have spent on buying the collection item lol! ya the amount can somehow buy me a flight to seoul back and forth, but i never regret on that even once, because it is something that i buy with my own money rather then asking from my mom. hahahaha...

woohoo!! such crap nonsense

2010-03-23T17:34:00.003+08:00

well holiday is ending soon..and i dont know whether im hype about it or im still having my holiday mode.hmmmm..i didnt do nothing much for the long holiday i just end up following the flow.lol! well at least its less bored and more drama and story to tell. lol! the first month of the holiday nothing special happen up until 17th of march where the stalls in front of the house suddenly caught on fire at the hour of 6 am in the freaking morning. lol! but thankful no one get hurt and the dude that was reported sleeping in one of the stall manage to get out before the big fire happen.

so the last week of the holiday i decide to download as many korean songs i can because i dont want to bored my self with the journey to college next week.haha.. so instead of hunting for kpop guys group i decide to hunt for the female group and i realise i missed alot of good talent in their music industry. lol! i found out the more annoying the song the more addictive it can be, but as long the beat is fresh and up beat i can go through it without any complaints. slow songs really make me sleepy.
so one more week for class and approximately one more week im turning 20 years old(oh crap), but then again its just a figure of numbers its not how i feel for my self.lol! and i notice a really cool life cycle for my family the older u get the younger ur life will be( only people who have the same gene or parents as mine can understand this lol!) i understand its about protection, but...sigh.. no comment.
the sad part of all is i couldnt full fill all the things i want to do before i turn 20 excluding the part where i want bf.lol! i feel now that my thoughts are wiser for some situation compare to my teens year.the fact that im no longer mind the fact that im single. single is FUN!!

guess i should stop craping in here and get ready to ick up my mom...goodbye!

how i wish fantasy can be real

2010-03-20T16:02:00.003+08:00

what will life be if everything is base on our own imagination? will our life be great? will we be the ultimate winner? since its our own creation of vision we can be our own king or queen of our own land. what if the wonderland that was portrait in cartoons were a reality and the line of "live happily ever after" is a sentence that we have to apply at the end of every journey. i may have grown up from childhood year, but the fact that i still believe in fairy-tale is just a something immature thoughts in my head. i believe in first true love and i believe growing up is something that will bring us such pain. as crazy as it sound i would definitely want to hear animal and any flora kind creation to talk and mythical creature can be seen with our bare eyes. but then again its just a fantasy that i feel to believe in my own head.

after watching alice in wonderland i really wish that there are such fantasy lands. even though some said a fantasy dream can be turn to a horrible nightmare, but as long as im in my own world i wouldn't mind so much, as long as im away from this reality i would be delightful on staying. sometimes i just wish on not to wake up from the dream, because im happy in silent sleep. i know that the reality im facing now is nothing compare to people who faces more then this, but to be honest i just want to take a short break and just be in my own world. sigh but i guess fantasy is will only be in our mind not far beyond that.

dammit!

2010-03-19T20:45:00.002+08:00

so mr i want to enjoy for a moment. i know u are sick of the rules,but what about me? i want to scream my lungs out too, i too want to take a break and i too want to get away from everything. this time of holiday isnt going on pretty for me. to be honest all i want right now is just to attend class so that i 'll be buzy and get away from this house as much as i can until the fire really subside.

dear god, what are u planing up there? sigh!

the mood right now in the house its a real stress. silents is in the air and the sickening part is nothing is going well. its been a great 7 months of this situation going on and there is not even one sight that show its gonna stop, but instead it show a greater deal of it getting even uglier. cant i have a moment too of getting away from the situation that is not mine? yes i know its a really matter that involve all of us, but can i at least for a moment leave the community and come back once everything cool down....

stupidity of the day

2010-03-18T23:17:00.002+08:00

after one another things that are just bad happening to my family. well yesterday one was the worst one ever. even though that went up to be a history today a new chapter of battling happening. the kangoo car end up having a problem near some highway and we been challenge again. sigh! i really wish all this will stop. first of all thanks to my stupid mouth the fact that i couldnt control the bloody volume. the fact that i was really sleepy and the moment i woke up in the car mom was in a distress mode all the hectic commotion between mom and dad woke me up. it wasnt my right attention on saying about that i was damn sleepy and the heat made me grouchy and grumpy. i dont really dont mind on using my mom seriously its just that because mom have to paid that toing truck i figure she left with less then rm100 in her wallet and i dont want to ask money from her since we end up in such situation. yes i was completely sound like a selfish bitch and told her off. i realise my words was in considered and im apologize over that matter and i hope she forgive my thoughtless mind.sigh

we have to move on!!

2010-03-18T01:02:00.002+08:00

well to be honest even though i put that bad traumatic nightmare aside im still considered scared over the situation. instead of feeling gloomy and rather emo. i found that i should be strong to face the reality of life. lesson to be learn do not panic when u see something huge burning in fornt of you which is in a crazy blaze. if your panic nothing good will happen and all kind of thoughts will arise in ur brain. as what my mom told me what ever it is grab the important files and if u have the extra second grab the thing that is considered as important as for me i choose my dslr in stead of my laptop and i choose my headphone instead of choosing my hard drive.lol!

even though it was my first ever experience its a lie if i said it was delightful thing to see. yes people i was traumatize about few hours back. after the great cried i feel relief that im still a life and all the family members are all safe. so right now even though i may sound happy, but the truth is im hiding the fear behind a mask. yes i was traumatize and yes i was emo back then, but the though of you thinking of the impossibility is much more tiring then having the feeling of grateful to god that 'he' answer my prayer. so now what ever that happen it was stated someway in our journey of life, what ever it is life still have to move on even though the incident that been written down can be such horrified trauma impact in one person life.

alice and wonderland..awesome!

2010-03-17T01:59:00.006+08:00

the pure genius of Mr.Burton, as in Tim Burton. even though the plot line some people said its rather dragging and slow i found it just my cup of a tea. well each character brought specialty to the movie. especially Johnny depp. well of cause im not gonna spoil the movie for those who havent watch it yet( im still considered) lol! other then that.. the graphic cut that been use in the movie is just great. i just love the whole wonderland scene and the fact that they made all those animal looks furry and cute is just awesome!!

so lookie whose that..yeah its Mr. Johnny depp. he took the role of the Mad hatter. well extremely superb costume and tremendously bringing the alive. Johnny deep is best known as the actor that can bring out weird character well and alive. one good example is captain jack sparrow. i guess if ever tim burton were take other actor on taking this role compare to johnny i guess the character can be an obvious fake. well this is my point of view..huahua

in over all the show was good and i dont mind watching it for the 2nd time. i notice on what my friend said that there is a slide of love plot between mad hatter and alice. i have a feeling that mad hatter somehow secretly love the all grown up alice. because the last part i can feel a sense of broken heart on johnny character.

the new item in house

2010-03-14T20:41:00.002+08:00

i know to people who know me best jaws drop!=O well i dunno why i fall inlove with the shoe and its just a must buy item and because of this awesome 4 inch (yes according to my ruler its 4 inch) i will start practicing on survive the day by wearing it...hahaha

me tired and me hungry

2010-03-12T19:23:00.002+08:00

been working my brain off for two whole days on completing the work that was been given from my brother. well his in a community of doing a reunion for his school gathering and they have to mail out the invitation card that play role as a pass to enter the reunion. so urs truely have to come out with the design. well my gust was saying that im doing a charity work, but what the heck its a good portfolio, so yeah i do it without grouchiness and as usual i did till i punish my self on not taking any food. well i think all designers are like this rewards come after we accomplish what we want. so i post up the design here because for now im not allowed to post it in fb because the design meant to be a secret, lol! so far there were only 2 out of 3 design i personally like. the classic look and the eagle, but its up to them to decide. so for now waiting for my parents to treat me food...im sooo damn hungry!!!i can a horse!

the final design..

2010-03-12T17:03:00.001+08:00

woohoo!!! the final design done and im happy to say i like this classic look design. well now its up to the dudes to choose. gosh i didnt eat my breakfast nor lunch and now im starving like hell...so

workk of the week.

2010-03-12T01:03:00.004+08:00

this is one of my best idea for the St. John's inst reunion invitation card. im still trying to produce more and i hope the outcome is pretty much satisfying as this one. i so love the eagle. it really gave the right impact i want for the card. i figure since its a guys reunion and the Johanian's are pretty proud of their eagle so i tried to play with their proud symbol.

as for this 2nd design its more on playing the school proud statue. im still having a hard time on liking this one because something is just missing here...sigh! hope the next design can somehow work out right like the 1st one..fighting!

what is the point on doing that?

2010-03-10T08:17:00.003+08:00

i dont get the whole story on a boy spending money on a girl when they are only in a relationship state or even the fact that sharing car together to go to work.sharing is okk , but the fact that one party just pay for the whole thing i dont think that is necessary thing to do when u just in a relationship that is not even considered married yet. i mean why do guys have to spoil the girl? why the girl have to accept the money? i mean we should love someone base on who they are not the amount of money they have. so what happen when the couple break up? the guy or the girl which already invest so much towards the person the deeply love with will definitely be super frustrated when they think over all the money they waste. money is definitely something that is not easy to get so why some ignorance people just take chances on spending on money that is not even theirs. i mean in marriage its not that healthy to spend on one person money everything is about sharing that's what make the relationship truly works.

i was told last time to let the hero pay for the heroin stuff, but to me that is just wrong. i mean i got my own money and i dont feel like i want to have a debt on someone that im not sure his my husband. some said u should give in for their ego, but what the point of giving up just for their ego if u know money is something that is not easy to get regardless the money is from his or her parents pocket or the earn it. its just not that easy.

maybe mom educate me so much on money matters till that i see this kind of point of view in life.

war of red bug!

2010-03-04T19:59:00.003+08:00

*WARNING*
IF U ARE GROSS OVER ROACHES DO NOT READ THIS

today i can call my self as a killer

I succeed in killing 10 roaches and NOTHING survive the battle.
*i spray the bugs,the onions, the cooking utensil and all the ants*

with an equipment of 2 spray cans of aerosol bug spray
* i spray and inhale the aerosol for almost half an hour.*

I kill 'em without no mercy...muahahahahHAHAHAHAH * cough*

i know how it felt.

2010-03-03T21:40:00.002+08:00

well today my brother gave me a big shock when i waited for him almost for an hour and he didnt came out from his extra class. it made me worried when the guard and the staff said that there were no such thing as an extra class for standard 5. i was damn worried and i couldnt think straight and end called my mom and panicking. about around 4.30 he finally came walking from the school entrance and i couldnt control my temper and just scold him in front of his friend and i was crying badly. he end up went out from the school compound and went to a building which is like the journey from my house to ampang point. its pretty far and the traffic there can be said as a dangerous thing. I guess this is how our parents felt when we lied to them and wondered around to somewhere they dont know. the feeling was awful to be honest and honestly after having that fear emotion i regret on what i ever lied to my parents on something familiar to this situation. to be honest i dont ever want to feel it again. I dont know maybe to be able to have the same feelings can somehow made me understand them better and mature on it or maybe to even think over the matter if i feel like doing this in the future. nightmare!

isnt family drama just f****ing awesome!

2010-02-28T12:54:00.002+08:00

alright this is not fair! the minute i woke today went to my parents room and i found them missing.wtf! the last time this thing happen is my brother took the car and left to pick up the gf, so now since everyone is doing the same trend regardless my parents or not its really pissing me off. i mean cant i be the one that also have the pissing off feeling? since they all do this i should just grab my small brother and just go out somewhere without notify them. since my brother is genetically the same as me we should do the same thing, its bad enough i dont have a partner to release my frustration on, and its bad enough i have to swallow all the crappy talk my mom gave when she said how i and my brother are the same, yes! we are siblings, but that doesn't mean im the same as him! argh!!!!

because he lose the trust i pun end up kena the same drama! apa ini!!! im not innocent my self, but at lease im still considered and call them where i was even if they don't let me go, rather them him. come on la teens act without using the right conscious of mind, they should understand that. no one is perfect and why are they expecting us to be a perfect as what she see in the drama. reality hurts the most and they know that! sigh! screaming and shouting is that necessary? what happen to a thing call slow talk? why do god just love testing on this family? sigh....................

and the new battle begin

2010-02-27T23:35:00.003+08:00

i cant take it anymore! the phone is ringing and they wont let him in just to teach him the lesson. for all the time, for all the day is this necessary? i cant bear to watch how he been punish all i want is, i want all this madness to stop and i want the real him back for good! its not fair how everyone have a companion to release the stress to, but what about me? i cant talk to my small brother because he just wouldn't understand. i gave him a warning and he ignore all the sign that been given. sigh.

the thing is i dunno whose right and whose being overacting on the situation. i mean both of them have their own level of stubborn, i mean he should open up his situation to the family, its not that we want to busy body or something is just that we all just care over u. especially the parents. i mean because of this character out of no way i get in the picture and im apart of the partner in crime.wtf! its not fair for me in some way. the fact that i dont want to hurt anyone's feeling i feel that i should stay silence, but that please dont make such assumption that im backing him off. aish!! i really cant win....

..pointless...T^T

2010-02-27T11:03:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u bone head!!!

love the new shirts!

2010-02-26T22:36:00.002+08:00

today went down all the way to a place call ikano power center and mom bought me this two shirts..woohoo!! the fact that i was in love with the shirts and fit in it nicely! hua hua..i can still fit in free size! so yeah the design is really nice and its specially import from japan. i just love japanese and korean fashion lately they are unique! well since i cant travel to the big land i love to be able to buy the shirts is awesome much to me..hahahha...so my mummy thanksie!muax!!!

what can i sell to make money??

2010-02-25T22:42:00.003+08:00

im wondering what is the right way for me to earn money. i mean i want to earn some money but other then working what other solution is out there for me. the fact that im studying i dont think my parents allowing me to work part time, hence even im in my holiday i am not allow to work.sigh! i need idea!

what about selling my photos online? i mean i know my photo arent that good compare to the pros, but would people actually want to but it? would people actually willing to buy photos online for art display for their home? i guess for that it is better if you have a name in the industry compare to a girl who just simply snap photos. i wouldn't mind sell my picture around rm50, but then again its depends on the size u want to print right? aish! or what i can do is create a series of postcard and sell it, but then again would people buy em'? T^T the reason im asking this sort question is because last time i did sell something but end up as closing business in the end and i dont want to repeat that.....hmmm i need ideas!!!

my lovely present..

2010-02-25T13:40:00.004+08:00

well i know its so out my thing i mean the colour, but the fact that its really cute and it was given by my lovely uncle so yeah i love it! its been a week and this big stuff been my sleeping buddy..^^ its just super nice to hug it every night. maybe because its just a real hugable monster in my room..hahhaa.
i think this character is related to hello kitty and i think its the sister of hello kitty. well it look like one and i never watch hello kitty before. the only character i remember which are related to hello kitty cartoon is the frog( kero-kero). ^^ so yeah i would like to say thanks to my uncle on buying me this wonderful soft toy..i know its not a bear, but i love it soo soo much..^^

a note a day. ^^

2010-02-24T00:02:00.004+08:00

i believe that i can somehow do this. i created a box for my traveling fund. so starting today i will monitor my self on making the box full with notes! i figure i can collect money last time for me to buy the tvxq collection item i believe i can collect the money for my dream on traveling to seoul, korea or to any other country. i dont care how long it will take but i will make sure this dream will be full fill. per day a rm10 or rm 5 as long as that box is fill with notes that is pretty much good. so wish me luck and gambatae to my self!!!^^

my headache

2010-02-22T11:20:00.003+08:00

lately my brother been giving my parents headache with his attitude. mom somehow called me to give him a piece of my mind. the problem is its not that i dont want to its just that i figure im not the person to do that because no mater what he wont listen to me. i don't i prefer him on not having a girlfriend because he seems more rational when his single rather then to see him acting like a total loser when his in love. sigh! because of him my mom keep pressuring me about his attitude and im pretty much bored over it.

stuck

2010-02-18T16:40:00.002+08:00

guess where i am now? well if u said coffee bean pavilion ur answer is absolutely correct! well the power out and the weather is damn hot so i cant hang around in my room with the heat. so i decided to drag my small brother out and go to pavilion to get some cold air and wifi..so now im chilling and shipping my awesome malibu dream ice blended regardless im stuck with my little brother....

just received a news that one of my buddy is going off to the middle east for holiday tomorrow morning...ain't he lucky. well talk about luck my luck on going overseas is rather floating somewhere on the seas( ok that is a lame joke) so as a good friend i wish him happy holiday and may him have fun there lol!

searching?

2010-02-18T10:28:00.002+08:00

is it true the minute you stop searching everything will eventually come to you? is it true the minute u start to lose hope a new light shine towards you? and is true the day you give up everything start to vanish?

human are believe to be a discoverer in the god's world, but what would happen if we the human just one day stop to do the searching? i guess a lot of unwanted things to happen. for some people to survive in this world we have to discover weather its discover the people or the land it self. for some people the more they search the more blinded they are, and for some people they already have mostly what they want in the world. to be a discoverer is never been easy sometimes we even missed something precious and valuable just right in front of our own eyes.

i guess for somethings it is best to let the things flow instead of looking for it high and low, because sometimes when we found that very things we been looking for all our life we will tend to forget and treasure it and in the end.............it will only be forgotten or unappreciated.

money and life.

2010-02-16T22:36:00.002+08:00

is there such thing as a real free gift way in life? for once i just want to hear money is not important for you to chase ur dream. sadly money is everything. people even fight to get the greens or the purple or the red as long it is called as money people willing to lose a family for that. sigh. the ower of money is greater then anything.

i know i should be lucky that i have mostly everything i want, but the fact that the thoughts of not being able to finish up my studies really scares me. the money that was suppose to be used for my study fair is been use up for my brother car and i know i might sound like a brat, but he should be lucky that his the first child. the fact that he got all the most attention he still being a big bone headed person i know. sigh! tell me if im wrong. his lucky to get the mara loan for his studies and my dad was able to get some bank loan for him. as for my time now. im still not that qualified to get the mara loan due to freeze of the loan last year and my dad cant get any bank loan now to cover up my fees because one he gonna retired next year and my brother study loan is not even clear. how suck is that. its not that angry with him because of the money i am actually more angry on him because he get all the good benefits and yet he refuse to persuade his chef title.

sigh. how i wish money do fall from the skies instead of the rain at this rate. dad gonna retired pretty much next year and mom only left about 4 to 5 years more to retired even so its still not enough for me and my little brother. sigh i seriously dont mind doing part time or get some clients for me to be a photographer. to be able to get at least few hundred bucks is pretty much good enough for me.

my luxurious breakfast.lol!

2010-02-15T19:58:00.006+08:00

today went off to do some shooting for the nikon photography contest im interested to join. well the end result was rather disappointing because out of the 200 pics i took only 3 is the best that i figure can be use for the entry others are rather to be kept in my folder. so today breakfast my uncle brought us up to a luxurious hotel in kuala lumpur called CARACOSA and i have to said the place is really a beautiful place to stay. the history of that building is that the British resident somehow stayed at that residency way back in the past and there were one part of the building one time been occupied by the Queen Elizabeth her self during her visit to Malaya. so u guys can somehow imagine the prestige of the hotel building it self. so went there just to have our expensive breakfast and i have to say i was satisfied on eating there. because of the breakfast and the ambiance of the place it somehow made me feel like a rich brat! lol! haha..per set of the breakfast somehow cost us rm65 per set! and the food that been serve to us is... a) cafe latte( i just love the latte its really nice)

b) grain cereal or healthy cereal( which nit towards my liking, too healthy blek!) and finally the awesome english breakfast!!! wwoott!!!

so after seeing the pic the food do look tempting right? minus the fact that the cereal taste awful.

stupid self centered act!

2010-02-14T13:38:00.003+08:00

well how can i said this. im rather pissing off with my brother stupid attitude. well the fact that his being rather a bitch during yesterday dinner and he created a commotion this morning which made my parents pissed off even greater to him and the minute i know the news i just feel like giving him a slap! argh! i mean i know la you in love, but dont create any insane shit. i mean u just got hit and i understand the frustration but why do you have to act all bitch up for your girlfriend? stewpid!

the news is my brother car got hit yesterday and the car is badly crash and will be in the workshop for few weeks and because of this accident all his planned is corrupted and since today is valentines day he eventually took the kangoo car and when to see his bloody girlfriend without my mom permission.i mean how bad is the bloody the girl? can't she understand the situation that he just got involved in a accident? and this one bone head cant he just think for once what gonna happen. i mean i dont mind he want to be in love but dont la act too childish for god sake!

mom was damn frustrated and because of him her mood was totally spoiled! the fact that made me even more pissed off is his acting as if nothing was happening he can still asked me is uncle mad at him because of yesterday. wtf! what kind of a question is that? i mean the whole family bring u out just to cheer u out from ur stupid misery and what did you do? u went out the cafe and you talked on the phone with ur girlfriend and leave the family behind and gave the bitchy face during dinner . so how should we react? happy and smile je is it?please use ur head to think la! geez!

2010-02-14T00:12:00.002+08:00

this blog is dedicate to a loser name oliver.

if u dont have anything good to say just shut the fuck up! argh! u know all this time i take all ur crap and shit now u are just too much. so go to hell with u! and f.y.i i can take criticism if the person actually know how to critic and by saying i google and paste my name there that is more like an insult rather then a critic u bone head!

emotion.

2010-02-12T23:35:00.002+08:00

i was just bored and come out with a new idea of came whoring.. this time i thought of using emotion as the theme and somehow let the eyes played the role and i did it! yay! so yeah its a real paper where i use a tape and stick it to my mouth. i kinda like the after effects. im pretty much tired of taking "cute" cam whoring pictures. so yeah came whoring is much more fun when u have a theme to play with. hahaha...

MY HAPPIEST DAY!

2010-02-12T18:48:00.002+08:00

this morning exactly at the hour of 1.00 am i went and check my portal and once the page finish up to load i couldn't believe my eyes on what im seeing and it make me log in and log out for several times to check whether its for real or a mistake. the minute i found it, it was for real i couldn't stop jumping and screaming and when down and woke up my parents as i share the awesome great news to them. my result finally out and i get an A+ for my photography. i know its not such a big deal but the fact that was my first ever A+ in my life i mean i never received such gred in my entire life. I know its still an A but the fact it was something i been wanting for that made me that insane at that time. so now i would like to thanked all the people that help me. especially to my parents.^^ with this i will continue to fight! AJAAAA!!!

sad case..hahhaha

2010-02-10T10:43:00.004+08:00

well as usual for my holiday my waking up time is always 10 am. today i woke up i somehow having an odd feeling struck my emotion heart. lol. i dunno what the hell but yeah seems like this heart is being such a fragile things lately. maybe its the valentine mood i guess...( blame everything on valentine) the fact that i be celebrating alone again.hahahaha..i sound sad and pathetic and such a desperado girl. wtf! so i figure go to hell with valentine with someone call as boyfriend. i love my family and all my friends so yeah these people are my valentine this year..hahahhaa...since vday is about celebrating love and im celebrating it with the people i love.

so if u guys are reading this crap....i would like to say

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY and GONG XI FA CAI (be sure to give me angpow when u see me hahahahha...^^)

tvxq mania!!!

2010-02-09T19:00:00.002+08:00

well today i watched dbsk mini drama or i think its more like a movie..whatever! so yeah watch it and love it! well the fact that making mickey end up being a husband is pretty much heartbreaking to some crazy fans i guess. i read the comments and i crack up reading the nasty comments. the thing is its just a movie and the crazy fans taking it like its a serious matter wow! i wonder what will actually happen if this 5 guys actually introduce their girlfriend to the world...disaster i guess for the girls...anyway back to the topic well the drama is well played by each one of them especially the 2 hero of the drama mickey and hero and for the others they played as back up yun role was pretty much less compare to xiah and changmin.

drama synopsis

the drama is about how a love triangle and a friendship values. mickey played as the husband which is attending high school and the wife end being a substitute teacher at his school. hero played as a problematic student who was raise in the orphan and was transfer to the school but end up joining a tug clan. somehow because he was the such a problem kid the sub teacher somehow get her self involve in hero life taking care of him and hero end up falling in love with her. the sad part was when hero was hurt knowing that the teacher that he love is already married and he end up creating a chaos.

so thumbs up for this awesome drama, hopefully tvxq will do another great drama like this...

tvxq fever all over again..

2010-02-08T22:35:00.002+08:00

it's been years i been this crazy over tvxq. the last time i actually adored them this much is in my final year in high school. since then i never that obsessed towards them that much. 2 actual reason that i think its pretty much valid to use as an excuse.

1. the fact that i dont know anyone that have same crazy as me towards tvxq
2. im pretty much busy with my assignment where i no longer have time to actually get the scoop about them.

since now holiday is for 2 month i figure its not a crime to go back to my past. all thanks to sue on calling me to load her some tvxq old banjun drama and ya i am back to my past now and i can freshly recall my love towards this 5 charming guy. to scream over their pretty looks and to laugh over their dorky-ness so yeah its all good and i feel like i know this group for the first time.

i called it evil shoes, they called it career & fashionable shoes.

2010-02-08T00:22:00.003+08:00

aaah..the high heels people believe it is apart of the women best friends second to diamond. well for a normal feminine to wear high heels is something a must to look pretty and yeah some people believe it can attract guys attention( dunno whether this is true or not). But as for a unfeminine lady like yours truly who cant even barely balance her self on standing expect to wear high heels? so the answer is "practice, will make u balance my child" pfft!

so yeah what is this all about you asked? well get ready to see a transformation of a tomboy on becoming a lady on her 20's. well i know its sound rather a joke, but sadly its true. my mom just break the news where i need to force my self on liking and wear this evil shoes i called HIGH HEELS. the fact that i love the ground i preferred to stay near to it not 2 or 3 or even more inch higher. im a ground person who needs balance. sigh. there is this one fact that made me agree on wearing this evil shoes. the fact is...jeng jeng jeng... people will hire you according how u dress up rather then you dress down and heels is apart of the dress up component. wtf! so due to this real and heartbreaking news i have no choice to wear it.

wasted talk

2010-02-07T12:32:00.002+08:00

should i start feeling jealous towards my brother? i mean he got all the attention and glam he need to be the renown chef to be in this family. i mean yeah being a chef is better enough then being a graphic designer..well as what i remember from the passed, my dad all he could ever talk is about him to his friends and family. told everyone how my big brother is gonna be a chef and in my family to be a great cook is something that gotta be highlighted.

as for my brother eventually he ended as a some human resource manager and ya believe me he put my dad to the shame towards everyone. as for now the story is rather devastating to be tell. Dad is awfully pissed of with my brother career and not to forget mom. as for me its not that im not supporting towards his career its just that he make all those talk go to a waste. i mean now all i could hear about is "how he should be in the kitchen and his not" from my dad. sad isn't it?

i know i sound rather retarded, but i also want the glam his getting i mean to hear the proud voice of my dad telling people that im studying graphic design, not when people ask him "what is ur daughter doing?" and he called me what am im studying.sigh. all i get from him is just a voice disappointment. well maybe its just my odd feelings. i dont know. yeah i know i dont have the touch of an art people, but im trying i mean people keep on saying how arts is the easier things to do and anyone can do it, well screw those people who said it. for me my passion is never towards arts and it came only during my final foundation year and now im loving it every second and im not gifted like some people who can draw even with their eyes close. i mean i got to learn from and A-Z to understand all this and its not easy. so yeah if i could actually slap my brother for 80x i would do it until he agree going back to the kitchen.

my blur forgeting mind

2010-02-06T19:53:00.003+08:00

just came back from klang or was it puchong..hmm well who cares the map said its klang and puchong so what ever. the thing is its been a while i seen this cousins and boy i dont even remember most of them i only know kak erni and linda and fullstop. so yeah mom was like "do u remember him or her", " do u know this auntie" so as usual this innocent girl gave her signature blur looks. so yeah i couldn't remember them at all , but they all remember me. hahaha..so i guess that is more important people remembering rather then the opposite. so yeah. i tried to remember some of them by remembering picture some where giving good feedback and some was just and error in my head. so in the end i just gave a lame excuse saying "i was young"..muahahhaa.. and they agree with me and leave me alone. lol! im such a bad cousin

random thoughts

2010-02-04T23:30:00.003+08:00

well February. the month that is known as the love month every year. Valentine's day. the day that i considered as the day of love to people around the world. people believe that 14th february is the day where we have and must show our great love towards each partner. well love is divided to many categories so no one is left alone on the V-day. as for me this year i really wish to feel the real valentine well that is my wish since i can remember. its not that im looking for a guy to date or what its just that for once i would like to feel how is the feeling when we received a gift even from a secret admire, but i guess that wont happen in another million years. the fact that i have to sore my eyes on seeing girls getting such random gift from their admirer. sometimes i even wonder is there actually a "him" for me? well as for now i just let all the decision to that big guy up there he know best.

its not ur eyes its just the background been change..lol

2010-02-04T19:00:00.002+08:00

wonder why my blog suddenly turn bright and girly? well its not your eyes its just that im bored with the old template so i end up changing it. well this is the only decent template that i can load and the only decent template have less pink and no flowery motive. the suckiest part all the cool templates i cant download took me few hours and i gave up when i saw the bar is not moving at all..stupid! so yeah now this is the new background for my lame blog. so yeah u are allow to laugh at the new background you are seeing now...have fun in laughing..^^

the new blog in progress..

2010-02-03T23:10:00.002+08:00

well gonna start a new blog which i called it as "a whole year of fun in the 365 days" well its more towards my photography approach where i can master my photography skills together with my photoshop. well im planning to start the blog more likely by next week so i shall post the url in my facebook and together in this blog. the 365 project is about what is happening around me and the toic is rather random so yeah my photos will be about anything and everything so yeah i cant wait to start the new blog. "yay"

what to do?

2010-01-29T10:43:00.002+08:00

well its the 1st day of holiday and all i can think of now is what should i do. since the holiday for this sem is longer compare to the last one we had which is last month i was actually having the idea to work and get some money, but the fact that i dont know how to seek for a job that defeats everything. i guess i have to start going to shopping mall to get the part time job. i dont mind work in a retail shop as long its not a food joint. jason was saying there is a job in midvalley which the pay is alomost to 1k the fact that midvalley is too far from me i have to pass that great idea. sigh~ i seriously dont even know what to do for the 2 month break so i figure this is one of the best thing i can do other then sitting at home. then again for this two month i can also brush up my skills in photoshop for my coming semester which i be majoring in graphic design. so yeah i should considered both idea and choose it wisely..